I’ve
started to write about my Chargers story at least once a month since the
announcement but I haven’t been able to bring myself to finish it. I’ve got decades of content but it just
doesn’t feel right. It’s not ~flowing~
from my brain to my fingertips, but writing about it has helped me understand
why the Chargers have been such an important part of my life…
Idk what year it was, but I was little. My parents & I
were walking around (not shopping, we were poor) Plaza Bonita on a
Sunday. My mom went into Montgomery Ward & my Dad went into Radio
Shack while I watched a game being played in the snow on TV thru a store window.
I’d only seen snow once before & I hated it so I was amazed @ how people
could live in such weather. I was so confused at what they were doing
& why but I wanted MORE. It was FUTBOL AMERICANO, & although I
had the attention span of a goldfish I figured out that San Diego had its own
team & thus I declared my loyalty to the San Diego Super Chargers. I,
like many of you, remember watching the 1994 AFC Championship game vs
Pittsburgh where Seau was ALL over the field, Pupunu cracked open an imaginary pineapple
in the end zone & Gibson had that fateful knockdown to get us to the Super
Bowl. That game that Americans fussed about & ate chips at. THAT GAME FINALLY mattered & I NEEDED a jersey. But, again, we were
kinda poor so my awesome mom, in a pre-Pinterest era, made my friends
& I Charger bolt pins out of blue & yellow felt, so I pinned mine to my
royal blue windbreaker & passed them around to my friends @ school &
invited them all over for a SUPER BOWL PARTY! Where we would eat the
chips & win the game! I BELIEVED we would win! But alas, Stan
Humphries & the Chargers got steamrolled by Steve Young & the Niners
& I was left with my first blue & gold heartbreak. I could not
understand why they insisted on running it up the middle. I did not
understand the X’s & O’s.
For about 5 seasons I worked Sundays & was left to watch
high(errr…low)lights @ the end of the day, which wasn’t so bad considering this
was around the Ryan Leaf debacle. I did make it up to Carson one summer
to watch them practice though, which is weird now, in hindsight. In 2001
came LT, Doug Flutie & Drew Brees & I FINALLY had enough money to buy
myself my first jersey: a powder blue #21 *strikes LT pose, flips ball* The following season my
cousin Nen won 2 tickets to the Chargers/Chiefs game at school & she was
awesome & took me instead of one of her brothers – who were also
Diehards. I attended my very first home game @ the age of 21, with a 13
year old girl, in the nosebleeds, surrounded by Chiefs fans but WE WON – BY A
POINT- in true Charger fashion! I was hooked. That day I decided that if I ever made enough
money that I’d become a season ticket holder someday. I wore that LT
jersey every week – even in the offseason. I copped a couple pullovers in
the offseason on clearance, which I threw into my weekly rotation &
wouldn’t you know it? I was rocking one of those pullovers the day I met
LT. I was interning @ Z90 my senior year of college & one of the DJs was
speaking with him in the lobby. I was on my way out but I stopped dead in
my tracks to stare at them & then realized I was being weird & started
toward the door again when suddenly Tre (DJ) caught up to me. Momentarily
retarded I asked “is that – is that really LT?” to which he said “Yea!
You wanna meet him?” & before I could reply he was walking me back over to
him & my heart was racing & I started sweating. When I finally
got in front of him I couldn’t do anything but shake his hand with my right
& cover my face with my left. I just kept saying “Thank you, omg
thank you!” to which LT said “hey nice to meet you Susie, that’s a nice shirt”
I bowed & backed away in awe but can you believe it? This paisa chick
from the barrio with her clearance Chargers pullover purchased off my bakery
wages had just shook hands with LT & he knew my name!! I later
realized he’d read my name off of my necklace LMAO but hey, how many Chargers
have read your name off your jewelry huh?! Also - who BOWS?!
LOL! I was still working Sundays but
my Dad gave me a small, old school black & white TV that you could either
plug into an outlet or into the cigarette lighter of your car. So I’d
prop the TV up on the bakery counter & listen/watch & try not to cuss
between customers at the register. Soon, my Apa started to share my
passion for the Chargers so much that he got the old school Chargers logo (with
the horse) tatted on his forearm with my initials - ‘SD’ bc, he said,
“you are the biggest Charger fan I know.”
When I landed my first job out of school my Apa & I purchased
half a season & thus began an epic run of bonding. My Apa was always down for me. He was hard on me growing up but he didn’t
trip during the games when I got embarrassingly loud, took a zillion pics or chain
smoked @ halftime. I will always cherish
those days with my Apa. Over the next
few seasons I kept running into (stalking) Chargers all over the city.
Rodney Harrison @ Foot Locker, Igor Olshansky & Nick Hardwick @ a gas
station, Kassim Osgood @ the Tavern (who bought shots for the entire bar when I
told him it was my bday), Drew Brees @ Hoover HS, Reche Caldwell & Tim
Dwight @ Jamba Juice, Luis Castillo @ IKEA. Countless more while I hung
out at the Bullpen, a bar/grill conveniently located next door to the Cheetah’s
near Chargers Park. We eventually purchased an entire season a few years
in a row, despite Brees’ shoulder, Nate’s missed kicks & back to back
playoff losses. My Apa & I were at the old moldy Q when LT
broke the TD record, and we leaned over the rails as far as we could to watch
the O-Line hoist the greatest running back of the decade into the air while we
all chanted “LT! LT! LT! LT!” We were also there in 2007 when we finally
won 2 playoff games back to back & fair weather, bandwagon ass fans were
literally popping the tags off the jerseys & hats they’d worn to the
game. Dude, the emotions the following week were crazy! We were on our way to the AFC Championship
& we had a bye & home field advantage & it was like 1994 all over
again, but better. Bc THIS time we were gonna win with authority.
But we lost. We barely lost. AGAIN. By ANOTHER missed kick
& I was drunk, and thinking about how I was moving to Hawaii in a few
months & I did not know if I would ever have times like these with my old
man & this team again. So I cried. I cried like a basic drunk
girl on her way home from the bar without her phone or a burrito & the next
thing I knew some lady was asking me my name & where I was from. I
slurred it & she jotted it down. The next morning was MLK day &
thankfully I didn’t have to be @ work. My flip phone had like 15 missed
calls & another 6 voicemails & as the hangover kicked in, I listened to
each one:
** first message sent
today @ …* mija its dad. Hey,
uh, call me back ok? Bye
*next message sent today @ … * mija, get up, gimme a call
ok”
*next message …* heeeyyy girrrll...just calling to make
sure you’re okaaayyy, hit me up
*next mess-…* hey
Susie, (oh sh** -
realizing it was my boss) just
checking in, lmk if you’re OK…
*next* DUDE IM IN ORANGE COUNTY ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING
ME (LOLS) THIS IS CRAZY (LOLS) ITS IN THE PAPER UP HERE AHAHAHAHAHHA”
*ne-…** mija, its dad again, call me
I called my Apa first. I grabbed my cigs & put on my
house shoes & called him omw outside to smoke. He said there was a
BIG-ASS picture of me crying in the tribune. I grabbed my wallet &
walked to the liquor store around the corner right then, with him on the phone
the entire time, talking sh*t about the loss, puffin on my cig, dragging my
chanclas across the pavement as fast as I could. I flicked the butt &
turned into the store.
SMH. No. No.
No, this is not happening, no.
Oh, WOW. Oh no, OH MY GAHHH
*unfolds newspaper, jaw drops* LARGE
color picture of my faded ass in a blue wig, crying about the Chargers. I looked over at the dude behind the counter
& he was looking back at me laughing.
I’d seen this dude at least once a week since I was 10, he watched me go
from buying candy to buying lottery
scratchers, cigs & booze & now he watched as I stood there, a hot
hungover mess, smelling like empty beer cans & cigarette smoke, horrified. His phone rang & he stopped laughing long
enough to speak Farsi into the phone & cash me out for 5 copies of the
paper. I walked home wondering how this
happened & then fuzzy bits & pieces came back to me & I recalled
the small lady with the note pad & the questions. OMG THAT’S why she asked me how to spell my last name! I walked in the house &
showed my Mom & even though I could tell she wanted to laugh she said “ayy
mija” shook her head & made me bfast.
I went about returning calls, emails & myspace messages the rest of
that day. I went to a friends house that
week & she’d set it as her screensaver. The next day at work someone had
pinned the pic up in my cubicle. It was
funny, yes. I was super sad though. It’s never been “just a game” to me.
Living in a different time zone before smart phones were a ‘thing’
made it challenging to watch games but I managed. We’d still purchased the season & sold
some of the tickets but I traveled back to SD for the season opener. When I eventually moved back I was so happy
to be home that one of the first things I did was get the back of my neck
tatted with a bolt. My Diehard status was sealed in bloody blue & gold
ink. I had so many great times that
season tailgating with my Dad & friends, but I was single & I really wanted
to meet a guy who understood (among other things) what it meant to be a True
Blue Charger Fan. Somebody once said if
I ever met the right guy that I would probably get married @ The Q. I will admit that at the time, I didn’t think
it was a bad idea! Haha, classy!
I met C online. I was
wearing a Charger jersey & an eye black sticker in my profile picture, we
met 2 days later & we haven’t separated since. Our mutual love of the Chargers has always
been for better or for worse. We have
matching jerseys, matching tattoos & our anniversary (09/10) usually lands
right before the first game of the season.
We used to live in an apartment in Mission Valley & that whole
season we rode our bikes to the stadium with cold beer in my backpack & we’d
cruise from tailgate to tailgate until Game Time. So many good times chillin with equally
Charger Crazy friends. My family & I may not always be on the same page
about things but we could always agree on the Chargers.
So when Deano basically text the city of San Diego to break up
with us, I was kinda stunned. Which is
dumb bc all the signs were there. For 15
years the city pointed the finger at Deano & Deano called the city names
& it got messier & messier. But
I mean, really Deano, a letter? Not even
a press conference to show your stupid face?
No opportunity for a farewell season for the Diego Dedicated? Junior Seau was probably turning over in his
grave. Watching a “FIGHT FOR LA promo on YouTube the other day made me
queasy. I almost threw my phone across
the room! WHY will you ‘FIGHT FOR LA’ but you WONT
‘FIGHT FOR SD?!’ They don’t even want
you!! Clearly, I am still pissed.
My Chargers story begins like a
sad mariachi song. It runs the gamut
from a classic rock & roll hit to a Hawaiian reggae jam & even a
wretched Taylor Swift breakup song. Then
the music STOPS. And in the quiet, I had
to figure out if I wanted to keep dancing.
I had to decide if I was still down to ride or if I was going to burn my
jerseys. I
am a woman scorned. But I am also
business-minded, & I understand that this is business. I am not spending any more money on this
franchise. I am not purchasing another
jersey, I am not driving to LA to watch them play or paying $100 to park, I will not shed any more tears for this
team. I feel like I’m writing a
eulogy. I know, I’m so dramatic, but Chargers
football has never been “just a game” to me.
Learning about American football as a young paisa girl helped me
assimilate into a culture I wanted so badly to be a part of. And of course, it being the Bolts, I had to
learn about losing. It taught me to be
resourceful on Sundays that I had to work.
It taught me to be a good sport.
These days it motivates my tired ass to socialize. The Chargers season starts tomorrow. I haven’t watched a single preseason game but
I will be watching tomorrow, & I will continue
to watch on Sundays. I still want them
to win, I wont root for any other team.
Raider fans get to root for the Raiders regardless of what toilet bowl
they’re swimming in. I am mad, yes. I am butt-hurt, yes. But this is business, and I don’t know
anything about being a gajillionaire.
I’m just an old diehard. I
understand some old skool Charger fans live in other states now, & that
makes it easier to transition to another team.
Maybe if we lived somewhere that had an NFC team I’d consider switching
too, but for now, you won’t catch #teamavila in another team’s jersey. Call me crazy but I think Deano will
eventually sell & another gajillionaire will move the team back to SD. Maybe I’m delusional but for now, I’m not
gonna stop believin.’
